Everyone knows that girls usually want to get married.
More interesting is another thing: why do women endure a divorce, in general, more comfortable than we do? There are a lot of interesting statistics on this topic. A man subconsciously perceives separation as a loss: a woman who belongs to him is taken away from him. A woman feels divorce as a release, even if it is undesirable.
And, anyway, with an average divorce, an American man always loses.
In 94% of cases, children stay with their mother, and he pays alimony, often without the ability to meet regularly with children.
Jointly acquired property, which is divided in half upon divorce, in the overwhelming majority of cases, is profited.
He will remarry about three years later than his ex-wife.
In two of three cases, a year after the divorce, he will regret it and think about the possibility of returning his wife.
Nevertheless, six out of ten marriages fall apart. So it is better to be prepared in advance.
After all, a divorce can also be organized correctly.
A marriage contract can be a shield for a man in the fight against legislation that is extremely loyal to a woman. For example, all property acquired in a marriage is considered standard, but if the contract stipulates that the wife undertakes not to make claims on your company or, say, real estate that you acquire in marriage, then it will be difficult to dispute her obligation.
Also in the marriage contract, you can enter the size and shape of alimony for future children. After all, we should not forget that the standard rate of 25% of income per child is charged regardless of the amount of revenue. And it is challenging for rich fathers to prove later in court that the child will have to live a couple of million years to wear all those diapers.
Now a lot of wealthy fathers sue children from moms not only for love but because the child often becomes a lever for pressing father’s business. If the marriage contract stipulates a reasonable amount of payments per child in case of divorce, the court usually approves it.
We have compiled a list of threatening bells that can signal that your family is in an area of divorce risk.
One of you has cheated on your spouse in the past five years, and the second knows about it.
Most often, you and your wife talk about children and pets.
You have sex less than once a week (for couples over 35 – less than twice a month).
You did not kiss for a month or more (smacking your cheek and kisses during sex are not considered).
Both you and your wife have a place to live in case of a divorce.
In your home, sometimes there is something that is known in the chronicles as “domestic violence.”
You rarely smile, looking at each other.
You can spend a week on a business trip, not missing a wife.
You and your wife are non-religious people.
You have one child or no children at all.
Your youngest child is more than seven years old.
In principle, you know everything that your wife can say for any reason, and you can hardly surprise her with something.
You or her parents are divorced.
She mainly does not depend on you financially, and you from her too.
Divorce is considered to be the last resort, which should be avoided, by all means. But there are situations in which the separation is favorable for both parties. For example, when spouses, having lost the freshness of feelings, failed to become their people to each other. When common interests, serious obligations, or special mutual affection, then a divorce do not tie them together can make both happier and help them realize themselves in life more successfully.
Approximately half of all divorcees do not have severe problems in a relationship. In such cases, a good family counselor will not convince them to save the family at all costs, especially if the marriage experience is small and the couple has no children. Harmoniously divorcing and remaining friends at the same time are no less challenging than keeping a marriage.
Ten rules of divorcing
1. Do not disclose your desire to divorce during an argument. Even if you decided it firmly, there is a risk that the whole process will continue to proceed just as dramatically. However, it is also not necessary to get out with this rationalization at the moment when both of you are in a good mood. It is best to choose a moment of quiet and tired indifference to each other.
2. Yes, you can use the good old trick: “Let’s wait for a couple of weeks, and we will calm down!” A couple of weeks will slowly turn into a couple of months, but some craftsmen are up to ten or more years old – until one of the spouses urgently do not need a formal divorce in connection with the new marriage. This tricky method, of course, is not suitable for everyone, but for those who are adequate, it fits perfectly (are you not too confused?).
3. Do not get romances at least the first two or three months after you parted, preparing for a divorce. And if you start, then do not even think about talking about this future ex.
4. A little surprise from Indianian law: if within a year after a divorce, your wife became disabled or within five years after she retired, you will be obliged to maintain it for life (however, if she remarries, you will be relieved of this duty). So, no matter how unexpected your separation may develop, you need to try your best so that she does not become disabled.
5. Many American psychologists say: during a divorce, you can not have sex with someone you divorce. These are the alpha and omega of the transatlantic divorce allowance. But American psychologists are not quite right. Sometimes sex helps to cope with this challenging period for both. Also, it leaves the woman a pleasant conviction that you still love her. It just so happened that the stars of your marriage formed into a sinister fig, and nothing can be done about it. Being in this conviction, she will experience a little less desire to peck out in court 50% of her liver according to the law. On the other hand, sex will prevent you from breaking the habit of each other. In general, you need to look at the circumstances.
6. Immediately demonstrate that you are not going to take away her children. Most likely, you will not succeed in this, and the more you threaten, the greater animal fear of losing the mother will experience and the more violently she will protect them from you. If you are lucky to be a person of moderate means and the material aspect of separation does not bother you, and the ability to communicate freely with children is essential, then the less you insist on your parental rights, the more you will ultimately have these rights.
Moms who are not afraid that their dad whistles their baby, very soon realize how wonderful it is that a person lives nearby who can always melt a cute baby without an hourly fee. A properly divorced parent has a dispute over whom the child spends the holidays, with a close margin in the direction of “I’ve been sitting with him for the whole of last month.”
7. Claims, appeals and statements will increase, the excitement will grow, and in one beautiful moment, you will be surprised to understand that you have been fighting in the courts for the past six months, figuring out how many days a year your daughter must wear a red knitted hat. And in which of the seven planetariums of the city do you have the right to drive your son on the third Thursdays of the second month of every fifth quarter. Invite a lawyer only if your spouse has acquired her. But first, try to dissuade her from this insane step.
8. Attending a family counselor during a painful divorce is as reasonable as meeting with a lawyer’s company. But, unlike a lawyer, a psychologist is interested in how you both are satisfied, so with his help, it will be easier for you to resolve issues peacefully.
9. Never tell the children nasty things about their mother, no matter how perfect the embodiment of these ugly things. Firstly, it is their mother, and to know at preschool age that you are born of a monster is a severe test.
10. Even before the official divorce, transfer money for children (either to an individual account or transfer by mail) and keep all checks, including the purchase of children’s clothing, textbooks, etc. Otherwise, there is a risk to learn in court that the last six months you have not only not been engaged in raising children, but also left them to interrupt from bread to water.